wtf

If you’ve been on socials at all yet today, you’ve already seen how my day started.

Before 8 am I had cleaned up poop, dog vomit, and learned that I was going to be without a car for the day. Cool. Cool.

Honestly, this start to my day just a year ago would’ve sent me spiraling. I would’ve likely lost my cool on Cy, felt an immense amount of guilt for it. Instead of seeing my guilt, letting it guide me to reflect and repair, I would’ve just shut down and wrote off the whole day.

*mountains move* none of that happened this morning.

I did lose my cool with Craig for about 5 seconds, swiftly called and apologized for my actions I chose when I was mad. In which, he also apologized for is own choice of events and words from the morning scramble.

Instead of feeling resentful of having to clean up poop, I just talked with my toddler about the future so we could build excitement together instead of shame for a mundane situation.

The ball kept rolling. I kept pivoting and choosing to try something different, rather than settle in disappointment.

I have never done this before.

Getting to actively see yourself, your brain, grow, change, and heal around situations that used to crumble you…it’s an unexplainable feeling.

Sure. To the outsider this may just be nothing, a morning of stuff and events. But imagine that you, yourself, tackled this big monster in your mind that limits you from being the best version of yourself. THAT was my morning. I beat the beast, well at least for today.

The ripples continued from there. New PR at the gym, a lovely morning catching up with a friend, my MIL treating us to lunch, both my boys napping so I have space and silence, and the sun is out.

I know tomorrow will be different. Today is all I’m currently focusing on.

<3