I’m being so avoidant

I’m sitting here scrolling instead of writing (can you tell I forgot to Brick before bed?)

I got home late last night, like 10:30 pm late. And then the college house down the street was throwing a party so the old man in me gets her feathers all ruffled about the noise they make walking down the street to the party. And then Cyrus was up every hour because sleep training a toddler is a tizzy. And then. And then. In short, I am tired.

Just like I wrote in my morning pages, “I do not want to do this”. I also, do not want to do this. Not because ‘this’ is a bad or hard thing. But because my brain is already short circuiting and I’m still sitting in bed. Feet haven’t even met the floor.

So now what? I’m doing all the things that I know I need to do to be better person. They’re not really working like they normally do because, poor sleep. What now?

Now I have to actively choose. Be a curmudgeon or try to find peek-a-boos of positivity in my day.

Well, that’s a gimme. Let’s try.

I feel grateful that Craig took Cy downstairs so I could work on my personal rituals without distractions. I’m excited for the workshop I’m leading today. I do not have to make dinner tonight because my MIL is having us over. We started painting our cozy nook, this brings me so much joy. I am not behind on laundry, such a winning feeling. I’m about to have my favorite beverage with my husband. My dog will be happy to see me when I walk downstairs. I get to lead folks through a meditation and spend two hours creating with others. One of two of my bathrooms is clean. My fridge is stocked with food. I am healthy and able. My car is working AND has heated seats. It seems the sun may poke through today.

*big breath*

Okay, you’re right. It’s not that bad. I’m going to be okay. I’ll make it through. Off to be a part of my story!

<3